Maddie uses a whine about 85% of the time. It grates at everyones nerves. We hate it. We genuinely can't understand what she is saying because it's so high pitched and squeaky. Yesterday we went bowling and on the drive home we got a dose of it.
Ben: "Mom, last time we went bowling with Dad and Grandma we stopped at Wendy's and got ice cream. I wish we could do that today."
Mom: "We can't today. Sorry."
Maddie: "Ben, we did NOT stop at Wendy's last time."
Ben: "Yes we did."
Maddie: "NO! WE DID NOT! That's not the truth!!"
Mom: "Maddie, Dad told me that he did go to Wendy's last time. Maybe you don't remember or maybe you didn't go with them." (they were all in the same car)
Maddie: "No! Ben did not go to Wendy's."
Mom: "That's what Ben remembers and it's okay if you remember a different story. Let's not talk about it anymore."
I commence silence and Maddie begins to whine. And whine. And whine.
I ignore her. Not one word out of me.
After about a minute she stops whining. In a totally calm and normal voice she says, "Mom, I was whining and whining and you never told me to stop so I just kept whining more. Why didn't you tell me to stop whining?"
She said it so matter of factly. As if when I tell her to stop it makes any difference at all. Like I was solely responsible for her inability to stop whining. Had I just made a simple request, it would have terminated immediately. That is not my standard experience with this child. I dare say that my requests, which admitidly aren't gentle, just send her into a more intense tyraid of frantic screaming, typically accompanied with throwing herself on the ground and moving her body such that she looks like she is plagued with intense and unrelenting pain.
What is my take away lesson? This girl knows what she's doing. She's playing her cards at just the right moment to manipulate me and play on my weaknesses. Yesterday I threw a wrench into the equation and she didn't know how to play me anymore. How do I use this to my advantage? The jury is still out but I know there is a gem of parenting knowledge hidden in that car ride.
2 comments:
That is too funny, and I'm sure very frustrating, too. :)
love iT!!!! great idea. ella has the same problem. we've gotten into a bit of a pattern now; she whines and i say, "oh, were you whining? let's try that again. talk to me nicely or i won't talk with you now." it gets really funny when she retries with a completely fake falsetto "pretty" voice.
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