My Friend Kathi

We’re making progress.  I slept from 8:30pm to 5:55am.  Only once have I made it into the 4am hour without waking up.  My typical night I’m up between 1am and 2am either on my own or usually because one of the kids is up.  Tonight they are all resting soundly and it’s after 6:30.  It will be good for all of us to be finally and totally on Singapore time.  Everyone will be much more pleasant, including mommy and daddy. While they sleep I have the rare chance to blog with a clear head and not being pulled to fix a toy or get a snack for anyone.

 

We met Kathi and Kurt for dinner at McDonalds last night and let the kids run wild.  We really shouldn’t have, but I just needed to not care.  They have no play place.  The McDonalds is in the mall and we had a table by the corridor which has those coin operated ride things.  They ran and ran and ran and ran around and around and climbed all over them despite my hard stance that I will not pay $1 for a ride.  I’m sure they were obnoxious to everyone that passed but Brian kept a loose eye on them so no one got hurt.  On a typical day I keep my children close in line and out of others way. I bend over backwards not to be a hassle or annoyance to anyone anywhere, so much so that I can be oppressive to my sweet children and I know sometimes it makes Brian nuts that I’m so anal.  It’s just one difference in our deeply rooted personalities and comes out in our parenting, but we’ve managed to find our tolerance level for each other.

 

So last night, they ran.  And I talked and talked and talked. Likely I was a rotten dinner companion being so self-absorbed, but it’s okay. I haven’t had a real grown up conversation in almost two weeks and I am a social being that needs, no craves, social connection.  Kathi has always and I mean always been there for me to talk with.  She helped me through the hard times of having my first child and mourning the loss of my job and the person I was and encouraged me to find my new identity.  It was a very dark time in life for me making that adjustment and I had only a few places to find support (you are one of them too Laura and I’m glad we’re still connected). 

 

One of my favorite days was when Kathi had a day off of work and Ben was all of two or three months old.  Kids were in school, normal people were working and I had nothing in my life to do but sit and nurse a baby.  That defined depression for me, feeling I had no purpose.  She suggested it and we drove down to Galveston Island and spent the entire day sitting on the beach watching the waves and floating in the water with Ben.  I don’t know if I had ever felt so irresponsible. This from the girl who used to be teased by an old boyfriend about praying to have a good and “productive” day.  It was the perfect thing for me to do that day and will always be at the top of my book of good days in my life.

 

Kathi is the perfect friend and knowing she would be here to support me, but more to just love me as I am here in Singapore has made the anticipation of our arrival more bearable.  We met for ice cream on Thursday afternoon then walked back to our apartment so the kids could play while we talked.  It was so good to connect again and hear about what is going on in her life and where her kids are (I taught her youngest, Bryce, in Sunday School in Houston now he’s married and they are expecting their first baby this summer).  Jacob is in love with Kathi.  I say her name and he gets the worlds cutest smile from ear to ear and says “Cat-e?”  She watched Ben do a magic show in our living room and cheered him on making him feel amazing inside, I could tell by his smile.  She even said she’ll hang out with me and my kids when we move out of the city after our household good arrive.  She has an angel heart and I’m grateful she’s my friend.  We love her.  All five of us.