Jacob Can Be a Challenge

Today.

The kids hadn’t cleaned up the toys very well despite being told to do it last night and basically messing around instead of working. Mary was coming to clean the whole house today so the floors needed to be picked up at a minimum.  After they finished their breakfast cereal I sent the big kids up to do a five minute job in the play room.  After fifteen minutes I told them to come brush their teeth and finish their regular morning chores.  Whatever wasn’t cleaned was lost for the week.

Since that is how the morning began it should have come as no real surprise when I sent Ben to wake up Jacob with two minutes left before we had to walk out the door to get Maddie to her shuttle bus on time.  Ben quickly returned and reported that Jacob had climbed up to the top of the loft bed and was hiding in the back corner where I couldn’t reach him and was refusing to come down.  Stinker.  I ended up making Ben walk Maddie to her bus stop and then texting the other parents I knew would be there to make sure she had made it onto the bus.

Jacob finally came down and was upset that the big kids had left without him seeing them off or getting his morning stroller ride to the school and back. He wouldn’t eat breakfast. At least not more than two bites of cereal. Just claimed he was too full and could only eat candy or marshmallows.  Um, that’s a big fat NO from the mom. Offers for toast, eggs and bananas were also turned down.  He wants to watch TV.  Not until he eats breakfast.  Finally he wanders off to play games and invites me to join.

Brian left us the car so we could get out today and go to the museum with playgroup.  When it was time to go to playgroup he wouldn’t budge. I totally gave up. I turned on Diego on cable knowing full well that it could be trouble to begin the tv “game” with him.  The last two weeks when I try to turn off the tv he grabs the remote and runs away from me screaming, “I will turn it on all by myself already!”  I’ve had to resort to putting remotes on the top shelf where he can’t reach them at the far end of the room. Then poor Brian can’t ever find it when he gets home in the evening.

I resigned myself to staying home instead of seeing the museum I really had wanted to go to, instead I tried to start the laundry. Of course the washing machine wouldn’t turn on.  Called Brian to see if he changed anything since he did all our laundry last week. (I know.  He’s the best husband ever and he is NOT for sale or even rent.) He didn’t do anything. Checked the breakers. Everything was fine.  Reset all the breakers and plugged the rice cooker into the outdoor outlets to check them.  Neither washer or dryer plugs are getting any power to the rice cooker. I let the dishwasher finish running its load and ran the laundry washing machine cord in the kitchen window and started a load of laundry.

At some point we had our quota of cable for the day and I turned off the shows and immediately put the remotes up high.  “I get a stool, mom!” comes the reply.  Having already tried to reach them before Jacob knew he couldn’t reach but he’s a smart kid. “I need TWO stools, mom.” At first I was worried he’d break his neck.  He brought two Ikea stools to the shelf and I figured he would stack them sideways from each other to gain the height he needed.  Fortunately for me he stacked them so they nested nicely inside each other gaining him all of two centimeters of height.  I happily watched with a smirk and then took some pictures until he got mad at me for the photo shoot in which he had no interest in taking part.

An hour later I went to rotate the loads and it was still full of water.  In my monkeying with the buttons I had left the “do not drain” button engaged.  Who the heck doesn’t drain their laundry?? Worthless button. I fix the switch and set a timer for thirty more minutes when Jacob shows up and says, “Look. I’m going to lock you out.” I warn him but it’s too late. He’s standing, proudly I might add, looking at me locked out of the house through the sliding glass door.

I ask, then tell him he better unlock it or he is in trouble.  It’s not the first time we’ve had this issue with him.  He happily refuses to unlock it.  I start the countdown to the promised “time out” on the steps. Three. Two. One. Nothing. I climb my pregnant body on top of the washing machine, step through the kitchen window onto the dishwasher and over to the sink and counter, down onto the stool and am secretly grateful I had to open the window to run the power cord through it for the washing machine. I grab my rotten two year old in my not so happy state and deliver him to time out on the steps.  He shrieks and wails and screams at me.  I’m tempted to return the sentiment but leave the room and set a time out timer instead.

Jacob runs off the steps and I force his little body back in position where he screams and cries but doesn’t budge, probably because he fought me and now has bashed his back on the step and is too scared to fight anymore.

It’s only 1:30 in the afternoon and Brian won’t be home until 9:30.  Jacob is for sale today if anyone is interested.