Uneventful Dentist Visit

I almost forgot to post the latest from the dentist visit the kids had.  Mainly because it was more or less uneventful.  That is a miracle in and of itself.  No one kicked or hit the staff.  No one screamed at the top of their lungs.  No one spit on the staff.  No one hyperventilated.  That is not to say it went well.  Just that we had a lack of all those things mentioned above and let me tell you people, that's some MAJOR progress!!

 

We had Jakey nap at Lucinda's place while we went to our appointment.  Brian met me at the office as is our custom since we have to hog tie each of the two kids to make the visit happen.  Unfortunately I'm not an octopus.  In the past that could have come in super handy at restraining those flailing limbs and protecting the staff at the office.

 

Ben started out.  We talked about what would happen before we went, again, and how crying was okay but hitting was not.  It is okay to be worried and scared.  He can ask us questions or take a break or whatever, but no spitting.  We are not to scream and shriek but we can tell the workers what we don't like and see if they can change things around.  Thank the Lord we got Miss Charlotte as our hygentist.  She was an angel.  It didn't take long after she came into the isolation room instead of the big open area where almost all patients are seen to ask, "Does he have trouble with his teeth?"  My immediate response was, "Not really blah, blah, blah" until I looked at her eyes and realized the real question.  "Does he freak out over this stuff?"  "Um YEAH!! He's not likely to see those other public chairs anytime soon."

 

Miss Charlotte was a miracle.  We even got Ben to use the electric brush thing.  Then she squirted water in his mouth to rinse the paste off his teeth without telling him what she was doing and he gagged and if you ask him he almost died.  It was tears from then on.  The flouride went off almost without a hitch until he tasted it and gagged.  He refused to shut his mouth after the 60 seconds were up to spit it out and he was pissed off about it too.  He just kept letting it drip out of his mouth in nasty saliva drool all over.  I just got him lots of tissues and let him wipe and wipe and wipe, but his refusal to shut and spit just put his saliva glands into overdrive. It was pitiful.  They got their xrays, though they tried twice for one shot and since the second was worse than the first and he at least got something, she decided not to traumatize him and let it be.  Again, bless Miss Charlotte.

 

The dentist noticed he has the beginnings of his first loose tooth on the bottom front so that will be a bit of an adventure.  What's the going rate for the tooth fairy these days anyway?  And why does she pay in the first place?  You know there is no root left on that thing right?  That blows the idea that she's recycling it to save the planet.

 

Maddie Mae did pretty good, though she didn't love it.  She mostly liked climbing up and down on the chair that moves and acting like a monkey in the room while we waited for Ben's turn.  She's a great kiddo.

 

There you have it.  A bit of an ordeal, but put in perspective with other dental visits?  Cake walk.

The Case of Maya and Miguel

This is a letter received from my brother and sister in law. Dear Brian and Angie,

Missy and I stumbled across a random photo in the glove box of our Explorer. After careful examination of the clues and facts we have concluded that you two are responsible for the practical joke. It all started about a few weeks after your last visit to Utah. Missy and I were at a drive-in movie theater when we needed to get a flashlight out of the glove box. As I was fiddling around in the glove box trying to find the flashlight I knocked the glove box loose spilling it's contents all over the floor. Without much light to see, I carefully tried to reassemble all of the items and place them back where they belong. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted what looked like a photograph. "That's strange" I thought to myself. I don't remember ever putting a photo in the glove box. "I wonder what it is a picture of?". As I pick up the photo I see that it is a woman lovingly embracing a dog. "Could this photograph belong to the previous owner of this vehicle and it has been stuck behind the glove box all these years?". Turning the picture over I see it has a message written on the back:

"Dear Brett and Missy,

It was great to run into you and catch up over dinner last weekend. I can't believe how long it has been since we saw you last. Thought you might want a picture of our daughter Maya and dog Miguel. Keep in Touch".

I must be losing my mind. I didn't know old age could catch up to some one so fast. I couldn't for the life of me think who would have given us this photograph. I definitely don't remember going out to eat with anyone recently. Maybe this picture has been in here for a long time. Wait a second there is a date stamped on the back of the photo from when the picture was printed. Lets have a look. May 25, 2010. Whoa this keeps getting weirder. That means we would have had to had dinner with them within the last month or so. My mind wouldn't completely forget about it so fast would it, and why would it be in the glove box of our Explorer, we hardly ever drive it anymore. Wait a second. Brian and Angie had borrowed our car recently to travel down to my parent's house during their visit to Utah. Is this their mischievous and cunning side coming out? It has to be. I can't think of anyone else who has had access to our car recently. Lets take another look at the written message. The handwriting looks familiar. It almost looks like mine, but a lot nicer and more readable. Is handwriting a hereditary trait? Who knows, lets go with that. That gives us two clues - we found the photo shortly after you had borrowed our vehicle and the handwriting looked familiar. Might not hold up in a court of law but I'm going to go ahead and call this case closed.

You really had us going for a little while that night. Missy and I were scratching our heads desperately trying to figure out who the photo could have possibly come from. Well done. Oh and if you didn't leave the photo then Missy and I will really be confused.

-Brett and Missy

Okay. So maybe I did find a random photograph in the parking lot of a Safeway grocery store in Cedar City. I looked around for the owner and when the owner wasn't anywhere to be found I ask myself, "Self, who could benefit from this photograph?" The answer was clear as day. Me. I could benefit from this handy photograph.

Oh boy that was fun. I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks as I wrote the note (yes, my handwriting is bad, like a boy and apparently like Brett's). The worst part was that we could never tell him or probe to ask if they found it or they'd know it was us. I was brought to tears again reading Brett's email tonight. As I read, I thought the fact that the glove box fell apart was fantastic! If I had known the glove box was going to fall off, I could have played it differently. Anyway, they are two dang good detectives! The date stamp on picture!! Brilliant!!

Now the thing that is still killing me? We've done something like this before. But for the life of me, I can't remember who we scammed. I think it was to my brother Jason and something to do with an old girlfriend but I can't quite put my finger on what it was. He's always a fun guy to mess with. (J - do you remember what we did to you? I need another good laugh tonight.)

Sincerely,

Friend or Foe

(you decide)

Popsicle Trouble

So Jakey brought me a popsicle today so I could open it for him.  Not good news.  Little man is tall enough, strong enough and smart enough to open the freezer door all by himself and get whatever he wants from the fridge and freezer - and leave them both open.  Lucky, lucky me.

Yes my t-shirt is red.

Yes my t-shirt is red. No i do not work at staples so i couldn't say if they carry sharpies in one packs.

Feels Good

Listed our broken lawn mower on craigslist at 7:00 am. Had 28 emails requesting it, most to pick up today. Had to take the ad down before 9:00 am to make the flood stop in my inbox. I love giving stuff to people who can use it instead of the dump. Some of my favorite emails were these: "do you have a picture?" Seriously. It's free and if you're going to be difficult, I'm not likely to reply when I have 27 other people wanting it too. Sorry. "does it have any sort of writing across it anywhere?" If you want to know what brand or model it is, just ask. I'm not a moron and despite my unwanting to repair the machine, I can read a make and model. Maybe I misunderstood your question. Were you wanting to know if it had gang graffiti spray painted across it? No. "do you know about how it would be?" No sir. I'm not sure how it may be. While it was in our care, it behaved quite nicely. Stayed put in the shed every time I put it there. As far as I know it didn't sneak out to meet up with the leaf blower down the street to smoke motor oil or anything. If you were wanting to know how old it is, I have no idea. Bought at a yard sale three years ago. Sorry.

kk;jadi iopse;lrjpo aij nkl;jel a;o bij al; kejrai;lu pioa jbkl j eiauri oa ehjk sd shd Bill Unfortunately for Bill, I don't speak "webding".

In any case, it'll be gone by lunch today to a self employed landscaper/small engine repairman. Perfect. Also sold a printer on Saturday taking our household total of printers down to only three. I'm working on it people. I'm working on it. I'm pretty sure the boss will want to keep two in the end because of different functionalities on each one, but no more than two will board the boat to Singapore. To be fair, my hoarding of hand me down kids clothes makes him just as nuts as his computer habit makes me. I guess we're even and blissfully happy together, forever in our precious, precious junk.

Oh Come On!!

Just one of the many tasks on for today: Scout Uniform for Ben

Estimated time to completion: 20 minutes

Actual time: probably an hour and a half

 

Check list of what to buy for Virginia.

Add those items to "shopping cart" on Boy Scout of America website.

Google scouting in Singapore.

Found troop for cub scouts and boy scouts.

Several notes like this, "Buy all this stuff while you are in the United States. Shipping is expensive."

Boy Scout website confirms.  $25 to ship anything, even a little number patch.

Compile list of things the Singapore troops require (Virginia seems a lot more relaxed than Singapore as far as uniform requirements for socks and hats and stuff).

Use my sleuthing skills to determine what troop and council they are in Singapore.

Troop - easy.

Council - hard.  "District Services Council - Dallas, TX" - Say what?

Search BSA website for ANY clues on what patch to buy for the "Direct Services Council"

Nothing.

Click links for a while. Read all the info on the cub website AND boy scout website about how to sign up and what you will need for any little clues.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip.

Wait. GREAT IDEA!!  Check the troop pictures and cross my fingers I can see the patches on their shoulders.

Find the photo album of the troop activities.

Click a picture that looks good in the thumbnail view.

Good. Good.  This one could work!

Zoom in.

WHAT THE HECK??  What is the first kid I see wearing?  National Capitol Area Council - DC MD VA.

That's where I live now!

 

I did ultimately get to see the patch and it looks kinda cool in bright red.  It does actually say, "Direct Services Council - Singapore" and has what I think is a super cool asian looking dragon on it.

 

Bad news is, after all that work I can't seem to be able to order it online. I suppose they don't get enough orders for it to sell online.  Guess we will go with what I have and wear the wrong patch until the group order the following August.  In the end, I totally realize, he won't care anyway.  It's just the anal parental unit that will make herself nuts over details like this.

No More Limping!!!

Big things are happening around here. Today I woke up and am no longer limping!!! Okay, after I put on a good solid athletic shoe to support my left foot I wasn't limping anyway. Last Tuesday I woke up and could barely walk. My left foot was in really bad shape for no apparent reason at all (nothing other than post-camp body shut down that is). Seemed to me that that same foot thing had happened before over the last seven or eight years, maybe it had happened twice before like that. Really painful and really random. Both the other two times I thought it was gone by dinner. At least as far as I could recall so I decided to wait it out. I will do almost anything to avoid the doctor. Not that I fear him. I just think most the time the diagnosis is something like, "Yep. You look sick. Don't know what's wrong. You should sleep and drink fluids and take it easy. Pay your $20 co-pay at the front desk and good luck with that weird, unidentifiable medical problem you have." And on top of the amazingly great diagnosis I get on all my visits, I have to arrange a babysitter and go wait in the office while I'd rather be at home. So I don't go unless something BIG is wrong with me. Wednesday morning came and the pain was so bad I would almost cry with every step and the ball of my foot was swollen so the skin was tight on the bottom. It was beyond belief the pain I was in. I watched Anthony and Becca early in the morning and ended up taking a lawn chair to the parking lot and watching all five kids ride bikes and play outside just so I didn't have to move anywhere. By 9:30 am I caved and called the doctor for an appointment. I made mac 'n' cheese for the kids to scarf down as Lucinda arrived and we swapped kid duty. She took all five to her place so I could go get it checked out. Could be two things causing the pain. One - a fractured foot from jumping off the tail gate of the truck Monday night, except that it never hurt when I jumped. Two - Mortons Neuroma, a severely inflamed nerve between the third and fourth metatarsel. Based on my vague memories of similar things in the past, I guess the neuroma. I almost didn't go get the xray because it seemed to make sense to me the neuroma option. I did decide not to be stupid though and I did end up getting my foot xrayed at the clinic down the road and going home to wait for the radiologist report. Jake had just fallen asleep at Lucinda's house when I got back, so she made me camp out on the couch with my foot up on pillows for about two hours while he slept. Even just sitting the pain got worse and worse every second. I called the doctor office right before they closed at 4pm to see if they got the report from the radiologist, only to be told, "We're closing in three minutes." "Yes. I know that. This is why I called at 3:57 instead of 4:03. Can you please check if they called it in?" "Well, they don't call those in. They fax it." "Fine. Can you check your fax machine please?" "Well, that's in the back of the office and the office manager is shutting down her computer to leave." Etc. She totally refused to go look for me so I could get an answer. What a bunch of total idiots at the office. No problem. I may have a fractured foot. No biggie. We'll just chill on it until you toddle into the office in the morning. IDIOT!! Just because you're too lazy to get out of your stupid chair. I never called back in the morning and will not go back to that office. In fact, I should write a complaint letter and ask for my records to be transfered somewhere else. Thursday morning I woke up and the pain was substantially reduced, meaning I could limp and wince and hop on one foot through the pain with only small tears, not big ones. Still pissed off, I didn't call the doctor. It's probably a Morton's Neuroma anyway, right? I'm sticking to that theory anyway. So I've been limping and hobbling for 6 days now. Saturday night at the park I had a few times when I had a regular gait back for a few minutes and was really encouraged. Sunday was no good because running shoes just don't look good with a dress, so I had no support and it showed. Here were are on day 7 of the foot trouble and with a good shoe, I'm walking what I would call normally. Still a little bit of pain like it's got a really, really bad bruise inside but so much better than the last 6 days. I'll take it!!