Days it's Okay to Cuss

I've been feeling crappy all week long. My neck and back hurt so bad I couldn't always move my neck from side to side without waves of nausea so bad I wanted to bend over and vomit. It was bad. It makes me cranky and mean when I'm that sick or in pain. Monday morning I called to schedule and appointment to get things fixed up. Thursday at 9am. Done. Got the babysitters lined up. Went. Within five minutes of working on my back it was beginning to pop back into place and feel better. By the end of the hour, I felt like myself again. Had a pretty darn good day after picking up the kids. I had playground duty last night while Brian went to soccer practice with Ben. I endured it well and even played imagination games with the kids the majority of the time. It was sort of fun. Then we came home and everyone was tired and cranky and didn't want to go to bed. I got in bed when the kids did and fell asleep, but they woke me up with their playing and fighting in bed and Jacob crying endlessly. Jacob was up at just a few minutes past 5am today. Screaming bloody murder. It went on and on and on and on. It's becoming a regular problem and I don't want to encourage it, so I won't get him out of the crib. I offered a binkie, blanket, milk, rubbed his back in the crib, but the second I move from the side of the crib he starts yelling and screaming as loud as humanly possible. It grates at my fragile nerves. By the time the rest of the family got up, I was in a terrible mood. Turns out everyone else was too. Because we had soccer last night, the dinner mess was still all over the kitchen. I tried to clear the cups of water before Jacob could climb up on a chair and dump them, but two cups slipped out of my hand, spilling all over the floor. I cleaned it up and went to lay on the couch in the living room. I must have missed a spot because soon I heard little feet slip and crash down on the floor. Maddie was crying and hurt. Brian comforted her while I cleaned my missed water spots. We manage to get some breakfast in the kids then send them to get dressed and brushed. Maddie shoves Ben off the top of the toilet where he is standing to put toothpaste on his toothbrush and he goes crashing to the floor yelling. Brian removes Maddie and she is screaming to get back into the bathroom to brush. Finally Ben comes out. Maddie goes in. I pass the doorway as she is holding her tube of toothpaste high above her brush with a long, long string of paste waving around, ready to fall and make a huge mess in the already sticky bathroom. I grab it just before it drops putting about 10 times what is needed on her brush. Of course, she is shrieking again and yelling unintelligible words. The volume and intensity increases when I tell her I can't understand her words. She wipes her hair out of her face, toothbrush in hand, leaving gobs of stringy toothpaste all over in her hair. I walk away to take a shower before my head explodes. In the shower I compose a resignation letter and pray for an added measure of patience to survive this disaster of a day, realizing it's not even 7:30 in the morning yet. How will I possibly make it today? We're supposed to go to playgroup at 10am. Fat chance of that. Jakey's gonna be a disaster by 10 am. I probably will be too for that matter. Then I have to get the kids at the bus after kindergarten and pack for a camping trip. Tonight. In the rain. Then I have to leave the campsite by 7am to take the church girls on a required hike for their camp certification. That leaves Brian to break down camp, tent and all solo with three kids, make that two kids and a monster. Last year we put all our pillows and blankets in the trunk and laid Jakey inside while we did the tent. He was happy as can be. No way that will work this time. Back in the present the morning disasters just keep coming. Maddie wants something and I say she needs to finish her morning chores. Today she still needs to put her glasses on and get her hair done. Then she's free. Unfortunately we can't brush her hair because of the toothpaste. I tell her to wash it in the bathroom sink with water. I very specifically tell her how and where to do it. She can choose either the upstairs or main floor bathroom. She wanders off to do it. Three seconds later I hear a cup, a FULL cup of water splatter on the kitchen floor. I roar like a lion. What the heck was that?!?!?! She bursts into tears. Water. What was she doing? Washing her hair by dumping an entire cup of water on the tips of her hair while she stands in the middle of the kitchen floor. I scream to get a towel, clean it up and get in the bathroom. I just have to walk away. Jakey keeps hitting and shoving both me and her. He's a mean and rotten bully. Time out makes him laugh right now. He doesn't know I'm punishing him. He'll catch on soon enough I hope. Now Maddie's hair is washed (she actually did a great job getting the sticky out), glasses on. Jakey is stealing her toys and being a bully. It's 8:22 am. In 8 minutes it's nap time. It is simply in the best interest of our family today. Assuming we all want to survive until bedtime (in the rain in the woods). Heaven help us, please, because these are the days I think to myself, "It's totally okay to cuss when you're having a day like this."