Memoirs of a Temporary Tooth

Before I forget all about the weirdness that is having a flipper (my removable front tooth), I need to write my random memories down. Who wouldn't want to forget things like this:

• Jakey: Standing in the lobby at church yesterday Jacob would not stop clawing at my mouth saying "Uh-oh." He was desperately trying to take my tooth out of my mouth and he looked worried about the problem and won't be deterred.
• Talking: The flipper was made just a bit too loose, but I decided to deal with it hoping it would only be a few short months so when I first got it and wasn't used to holding it to the roof of my mouth with my tongue it fell out every time I tried to talk.
• Kiddie Kisses: Moms and Dads typically like to snuggle their little kids in their arms and give them a peck on their squishy little cheeks. Even a gentle kiss pushes the tooth just enough to dislodge it from position so my tooth falls to the bottom of my mouth.
• Good Night Kisses: I wear a night guard to sleep with because I grind my teeth so hard at night that I have actually chipped pieces off of three of my teeth. I've always considered it a less than sexy nighttime accessory. I try to kiss Brian goodnight THEN put it in and roll over to sleep. I never thought I'd prefer it. Now my options are the night guard kiss or a toothless kiss. I won't kiss Brian toothless. I have standards. That's just too weird. All of a sudden the night guard kiss got very appealing.
• Night Time Talks: For a couple days post surgery I was to wear the flipper to sleep so the swelling wouldn't overtake my mouth and make it impossible to fit the flipper in. Then I was supposed to take it out to sleep. With the delicate gum graft I was scared to wear the night guard fearing it would tear the grafts. It didn't take long to realize that without a front tooth I sounded like the kids in the Christmas song "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth." When talking to Brian at night I quickly learned what not to say. Words with the letter "s" "v" and "f" are to be avoided at all costs. I learned that I should say, "I liked it." instead of "It's very fun." Of course, by now I've actually learned to compensate and can say those letters lots better toothless.
• Senses Overload: When the weather warms and the sun is shining for the first time after a long winter everyone is antsy to get outside. Most people however have the whole sneezing phenomenon from senses overload when they first hit the sunshine. When I first go outside on a super sunny day, I sneeze. Typically three times. The air rapidly exiting my mouth tends to go up over the flipper from the back side and creates a tooth projectile shooting it out of my mouth if I don't have enough warning or can't cover my mouth with my hand to catch the tooth.
• Nose Blowing: Same thing as the Kiddie Kisses. Pressing even slightly on my upper lip dislodges the tooth.
• Dining in Public: We have had lots of people to the house for dinner since the tooth extraction. I wish I could have captured the looks on peoples faces when over pleasant dinner conversation they first glance and see the black hole when a tooth used to be. Sometimes their eyes pop. Sometimes their brow wrinkles. Sometimes they do a double take. All of them realize instantaneously "Oops. I shouldn't stare" and divert their gaze playing it cool, but dang it's funny to see.
• Dining at Home: I take my tooth out to eat so I don't break that expensive little gem. Even my family does double takes sometimes when they forget about my new look. Maddie is the best. She will notice and giggle and cover her mouth with both hands and tell me I look so silly.
• Bubble Gum: I don't chew often. Ben got a pack of Bubbilicious gum for his birthday in April and he immediately gave it to me. It was tempting but still new to the situation I put it away in the cupboard. I knew it was there and it kept calling to me. After two months, I broke down and gave it a try. Immediate disaster. The gum stuck to the roof of my mouth dislodging the flipper with each chew. Not only that, it would fall and turn just a little bit so that when I bit down again I would chomp on it sideways making the edges jab into my gums and hurting me. I quickly relented and removed the flipper planning to continue enjoying that luscious, juicy gum. It went okay until I did exactly what you are supposed to do with Bubbilicous. Blow big, huge, strong, amazing bubbles. That didn't work at all. Just try the motions with your tongue. You push the gum up against your front teeth and push your tongue through the mass of gum and blow. Problem is, I'm missing one of those two key front teeth. Dang it. I managed two bubbles before calling it quits and tossing the gum in the trash. What a waste of a perfectly great piece of gum.

That's all I can think of right now. I'm grateful for modern medicine that will eventually give me a new tooth. Actually, I'll end up with three of my front four top teeth replaced by the end of this saga. My next appointment is this Friday. They will x-ray to make sure the bone graft took well and has grown natural bone into the matrix of freeze dried human donor bone. If it looks strong and healthy they take the molds for the next stage of my series of surgeries. We schedule it for two weeks later. On that day they will drill out all that new bone I just grew and implant a steel post. In the pictures it looks a bit like something you would see at Home Depot in their nuts and bolts section. The final tooth will literally screw right onto it. I'm crossing my fingers that we're ready to go and the bone is healthy. I've got to get this moving so I can recover and we can be free to leave for Singapore.