Never Let a Blind Person Give a Haircut

Ben needed a haircut in a bad way. We've been on vacation for two weeks, then I went backpacking and life has been such a whirlwind of busy. Sunday morning Jacob was actually taking a nap before church and I saw my chance. I bargained with him and he agreed to do it if he could watch a movie in the kitchen while I worked. Four or five months ago he let me know in no uncertain terms that he wanted a new look. He wanted a bowl cut. I had to do a bit of research on youtube to figure out the technique. Turned out pretty darn cute. Now I set to work to trim his bowl cut. After about five minutes it occurred to me that I should ask him what type of cut he wanted before I wasted my time. Darn it all if he didn't want "short hair again." Yippee!! Looked like the clippers already had the number 8 rake on it so I went for it. Fast and quick loads and loads of luscious locks of brown hair fell off his head. Swap the rake for a shorter one, taper the bottom to top to make a nice even transition, trim the ears and we're done!! Clean the kitchen and send him off to play. Not too long later we were sitting in the pew at church. All I could do was shake my head in shame. Good thing he can't see his own head. It is arguable the worst cut he's ever had. Nothing is even. All of it is, well, weird. Why is it so bad you may ask? It might be that I have pink eye. Okay. I don't think I really have pink eye. I'm just feeling a bit of hypochondriac syndrome. Jakey got it two days before we went out of town. Goopey, gross, green stuff oozing from his eye. After he finished seven days of medicine we looked like we were in the clear for two days. Then I had trouble with my eyes. Weeping yuck for a day and a half. I had to take out the contacts and go with glasses for a few days because the goop made it impossible to see. Saturday I abandoned the contacts again because the goop made seeing impossible. Sunday morning I decided to try contacts, but obviously it was the wrong choice. I was blinking and fidgiting the whole time I was cutting. If there is any doubt, just look at Ben's head. I spent the duration of church blinking and trying to clear my vision anc couldn't read the verses in Sunday School or the hymns. Don't worry, Brian drove to and from church. Upon our return home I ditched the contacts again. I'm thinking of taking a week off to see if I can get things cleared up and get the sticky stuff out of my eyes. If it wasn't almost midnight, I'd get a picture up. Maybe in the morning.