No Longer an Expat

I just walked past the car keys and the small pile of junk that accumulates there. I noticed two one dollar bills and a couple coins. My first thought was, "I wonder where that came from." Second thought, "I need to find my bag of US money and put it away." Third thought as I shook my head, "Or I could USE it because I LIVE in America now." Sometimes I still think I'm an expat. Hehe.

Kids Discover Differences Here

The kids are noticing funny things that make us laugh. As I write Ashlyn is asking why daddy is pumping gas, where are the workers that have to do it for us and suggesting maybe they are just inside the shop waiting. Earlier she thought it was hilarious that daddy was allowed to drive at all and we didn't have to call a driver. The GPS tells us to go so many miles then turn and her friend is named Miles and she told us that Miles didn't need to turn there. 

Ashlyn Gems

Our household belongings are now sea freight and on the ocean slowly making their way to Houston. This morning Ashlyn asked us, "Where's Johnny?" He left this morning on a cruise with his family so Ben told her he is on a boat. "OHHHH!! With our stuff." I hope his cruise accommodation is a little bit better than a freighter. 

Discussing sharing rooms in Houston and who is with who Ashlyn got REALLY EXCITED! "I will share with mom and dad and we can have three pillows!" That's not what we had in mind. We get fly told her that even though we have a king bed here that fits three pillows here in Saudi, our Texas bed is a queen size and only two pillows are going to it there.

Too Fast

I was cleaning out the pictures on my phone today and saw this one. It seems to typify how I'm feeling today. Things are going too fast. I have no control and it's spinning so fast. Yesterday the movers called and nearly begged for us to move out pack date forward because they are so swamped with work when we asked to pack. We agreed to move it 6 days earlier. As I hung up the phone I realized what I had done. We leave today for Dubai. Our second and very last get out of jail trip. We return Sunday late afternoon. Monday we pack and Tuesday morning they come. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I'm not sure how this will all come together but I'm hoping after the pack out life will slow a little.

Perceptive Kid

If you were to ask me about what kind of a kid Ben is, I would stop and think as I always do. It depends on the type of day we had what where I would start. He is often anxious about change and doesn't like to be made to do things he isn't interested in. Rarely does he fight me when I ask him to do something but I have to watch to see that it gets done because he's keenly aware of how busy I am and how many balls I have juggling at that moment and will capitalize on my busyness and avoid a chore now and then knowing I won't notice for a few hours or days or won't be able to remember if I asked him to do it or another kid. He's observant.

Ben is quiet. He prefers to stay in the background of a scene. He's smart. He is amazing reader and devours books. This year he would check out a book a day and his goal was always go finish and return it in 24 hours. He succeeded a lot!

He loves Nerf guns and could play Nerf wars with his compound buddies all day long everyday. They have hideouts and strategies and a million guns between them all which they are constantly comparing and even trading. Not much in this world could make him smile as big as a package of neon colored foam bullets. 

One thing I love to say about Ben is that he's a very thoughtful, perceptive child. I once asked him if he wanted to stay in Singapore, go on another adventure in another country or go back to America when we finished our first expat assignment. He said he wanted two more adventure assignments then he wanted to move back to America so he knew what it was like to live there before he went to college alone because he was already forgetting what it was like to be in America. He was only eight years old.

Now he's eleven and we have resided in two countries, traveled a ton and are relocating to Houston next month against our wishes. (We all wanted to stay in Saudi a few more years.) I asked last night while I trimmed his hair, so his ears would show again, if he liked expat life with all the moves, disappointments, losing friends every year and other frustrations mixed within the fun, new friends and adventures. Was the good worth the bad? Ben has really taken this move hard but even with all the mess of home schooling, grieving and loss we are feeling now he said it was definitely worth it. He wouldn't have wanted to miss what he had done so it was worth the sadness and pain. He'd be willing to move overseas again after we have some time in Texas.

. 

Medicines Out the Wazoo

This is what the back of my counter looked like two months ago.

This is what it looks like today. 

And the pain med and itch cream aren't even in the picture because they are upstairs in my bathroom. Needless to say I'm not feeling my best these days. The main troubles are my knees and then more recently shingles. I had no idea what shingles were but I sure do now. Random, perpetual pain shooting up my torso or side all day long and intense itching. This is horrible! One week down. One to five more remaining. The first set of scabs is nearly healed but the foreshadowing pain has migrated to my back and I'm scared for how much worse this is going to get.

Now that I know what it is, I accidentally exposed a bunch of people to it and thus the chicken pox. So I had to tell everyone. I feel really bad. And kinda stupid. But now that everyone knows a bunch of ladies have organized dinners for me every other day. For a week. Today it was so nice to stop moving and stay still on the couch while I corrected the home school papers and worksheets. Every movement I make seems to make it itchy. The less I move the better I feel.

And I hired a teacher to do writing with Jacob. He positively won't do it for me. And I'm done fighting. It's time to outsource which is odd because he isn't one I would have thought would do that for me. I thought he'd want to please me but I was unequivocally wrong on that assumption.

An Added Measure of Patience Today

Today was one of those horrible, awful, rotten, wanna run away from home type of home school days. I was yelled at, cried at, verbally assaulted and beaten down like I can't believe for a solid three hours by two of my three big kids. God obviously blessed me with an added measure of patience today because the real Angie could have never endured that without losing her mind and blowing up. I did snap back on two occasions when they over and over and over started getting too personal in their attacks and just seemed to be going for the jugular vein. So it was a pretty bad day at home but we survived. And I think that one of them may have actually caught on to the fact that if they don't whine and cry they can finish their entire day of learning super early. The non-crying one does that every single day. Heaven is helping us but all four of us still hate our situation with a passion that is hard to put into words. The emotions are so raw still and there is or of anger all day every day directed at whatever is the closest target.

Fighting Reentry

Tis the season of grief and goodbyes for expats. This was an awesome read as I am already in mourning over being ripped from my happy life and thrown into the unknown even if it is my home country. 

Favorite quote, "Here is permission to not have your whole life figured out in one week or one month or even two years.  Here is permission to just survive for a while.  Here is permission to just do what you are able for today.  Here is permission to celebrate the little accomplishments {even if they don’t seem big to other people}.  Here is permission to not have all the answers about what happened overseas or what you are doing next.  Here is permission to take a season focused on recovery and not on serving.  Here is permission to just be yourself {even if it is a messy and confused self.}

I wish someone had told me that the answer to re-entry was not figuring out something to do that would give me a new identity, but rather just being myself in this new place."

All I know today is grief is real and necessary when something precious is lost. That's how I feel about our move. It is awesome here and we were deeply happy. We don't know why but God wants us in Texas next so we will "go and do what the Lord has commanded" because he wouldn't ask it if we couldn't do it with his help.

http://www.rockyreentry.com/letter-returning-missionaries-wish-someone-told-first-moved-back-us/

We Have to Move. Again.

Wednesday was announced that ExxonMobil will relocate all children out of Saudi Arabia. Many of you have been aware that we have been locked down in our compound more than we ever dreamed. It’s been on and off since September. In December/January we were down for 5 weeks – our friends were for 48 hours. This time we locked down again first of March and basically understand that we will not be released again. We will just move.

 

You should know that corporate made this decision based heavily on events in 2004 when they were not fully prepared. There was an event then and they had to evacuate everyone in hours. They are the only company planning this move right now. All our friends and neighbors thus far are staying and we are lead to believe there is no discussion of leaving at all right now though no other company is locked down like we are.

 

Men and wives are able to stay because our housing compound is very secure, we travel in armored vehicles with GPS tracking at all times and the plant where the men work is secure. The issue is the school location.

 

All families with children will return to their home countries and we have now confirmed that we will be heading to Houston.  The company would like us to go immediately but will allow us to stay together here as a family until June at the latest. We do not feel at risk in any way at home. We will see what the school has to offer to support our kids for completion of their current grades in school with me as the teacher. I am looking at home school programs. We cannot buy a house fast enough to enroll the kids before the last couple days of the year in Houston because they end the year in May.

 

Don’t worry. We are being watched over by Exxon and from above. We have been stretched spiritually here in ways we have never known and learned to trust the Lord and it has been a great experience. We love Saudi!

 

We will let you know when we know any more information.

Silent Expat Secret

It's just a part of the deal. You will be new and scared. You will be helped. You will learn the ropes and grow stronger and more confident. Eventually you become an all wise and experienced resident expert (usually within a year or less). Then you must pay it back. No one ever commits to the deal out loud it's just how it works. It can be fun to share the new tricks you have figured out with someone new who is grateful. All in all it's fulfilling to be helpful and focused on serving other families like you were blessed when you arrived. I believe we come preprogrammed to want to connect with people, lighten anothers burden and serve each other.

I was in a very happy, stable place in Singapore. I knew the ropes. I was a "helper" after more than three years there. As I contemplated the move to Saudi there were two things I thought of a lot. One was that panic feeling of "what if" and "where do I go if I need" stuff. The other was "they will help me" because I had a knowledge as firm as a mountain that the women in my new community would see me, grab me, love me and help me. They would reach out and make sure I had been to a grocery store. They would know where to go to get an abaya altered. They would tell me where to go to buy turtle food and who can cut a white girls hair. And even call me when cottage cheese was at the store for the first time in 6 weeks so I could call a driver and go over before it sold out.

I still wish I was the know it all. But I'm accepting my place as the newbie right now and feeling grateful for the women that stop when they see me on the sidewalk around the compound and remember my name. Next year I can join their ranks and help someone new to Saudi Arabia.

Pre-Electrons

Ben read from a Spanish book tonight and slaughtered the pronunciation. Jacob realizing it wasn't what he was used to asked, "Is that a Kindle?"

Brian said, "No. This is from before electrons were invented."

Huh?

Earlier when Jacob was in my room relaxing I asked if he was tired. "Yeah. I am sooo tired from today. I watched the guys unload ALL the boxes from the Wooters shipment and it was tiring."Just imagine how tired the guys who actually lifted all those boxes and a 500 pound piano must feel if Jacob was that tired from just watching.

30 Hours of Travel

August 13, 2014

We finally made it to our new home after 30 hours of traveling. We arrived at home at midnight without Brian. He had ordered two cars to pick us up knowing we had 6 people and a LOT of luggage. 14 checked pieces of luggage plus 6 small backpacks and a roller bag I kept because Ashlyn was vomiting just two hours before we left for the airport and I felt confident I had better have a suitcase full of wardrobe changes for both her and I. Luckily neither of us needed them. Then we had three lost bags and that took well over an hour to file the claim. Finally, Brian we for to the curb only to see another problem. One SUV and no car seats. Brian sent us home in the first car alone, sans car seats, and he waited at the airport another hour for them to dispatch a second SUV to the airport to get him and the remainder of the luggage.

It wasn't quite the joyful, togetherness filled homecoming we had imagined after five months apart - him handing me a key and saying good luck but that's okay. We got home at midnight and had to search for the house because I didn't actually know where I lived. He arrived a little after 1 am. We had already worn out all the light switches and found a fee surprises he left us.

Everyone got peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with bread he had stashed in the freezer before he left. Then it was to bed by 2 am. Ashlyn slept a solid 60 minutes before waking up from her nap to play. We put her in our bed and tried to make the best of it but I don't think Brian or I slept at all from 3:30 am to 6:00 am when the poor guy had to go to work. He said goodbye to Ash and then two minutes later she began to wail. Daddy had left her. AGAIN. She was so angry and heart broken. When he came back to the bedroom to brush his teeth in the bathroom she was consoled and I grabbed the iPad to distract her from his next attempt at leaving.

The three big kids are all crashed in their beds. I'm hoping they sleep very late and kick this jet lag thing in the butt quickly. Brian works today and tomorrow then it's the sabbath so at least he only has to survive two days before he can sleep in. And I hope when Ashlyn naps today that I can put on a movie for the big kids and have a long snooze myself.

Homeless Travelers

Been back in the States 4 weeks today. Put 2,200+ miles on my rental car since I arrived. Having fun every day with friends and family. Ready for a break from this "vacation" though. We are feeling a bit homesick and yet are homeless. Kids just want a house to call home. Transition isn't our favorite state.

FHE Pillowcase Sack Races and a New Couch

March 30, 2014

Last night was a hilarious night of Fanily Home Evening sack races. Ashlyn liked to pull her pillowcase up over her head so she couldn't see anything and then try to jump and walk.

After we finished we had some Twizzlers  from the special candy shop here in Singapore. And since mom gave away the kids couch this weekend they had to use the new couch I told Ben he could make with fun foam floor blocks. 

He decorated it all himself though and we live what he's done with it. 

We love the assigned seating.

Mover Come in about 30 hrs

May 30, 2014

We are all frazzled. Rough day. Lots of tears. Ben broke and was screaming that it was all our fault and we have all the power and he has absolutely no control of anything he ever gets to do. He's been lying and hiding stuff and freaking out. Jacob has had a fever for two plus days now. Maddie's ears are broken and she never hears a darn thing we say. Mom has a short fuse. Dad seems to keep working and ignores everything going on.

Ben needs a break so he's in the back yard playing with Ashlyn and she's living it. She follows his every move. He gets a drink, she gets a drink. He runs left she runs left. He is in happy heaven. It's past bedtime but this needs to happen now. It is beautiful to hear so much giggling again in our house even if I know it will all come apart when I say it's time to brush teeth at least they have this happy memory and moment together.

Jacob Packing

I found this gem in Jacobs school stuff as we cleaned out this morning so we could pack suitcases. He is planning to pack a suitcase to go to Saudi Arabia and will bring along: sunglasses, iPad, phone and a jacket.

Mover Come in about 30 hrs

We are all frazzled. Rough day. Lots of tears. Ben broke and was screaming that it was all our fault and we have all the power and he has absolutely no control of anything he ever gets to do. He's been lying and hiding stuff and freaking out. Jacob has had a fever for two plus days now. Maddie's ears are broken and she never hears a darn thing we say. Mom has a short fuse. Dad seems to keep working and ignores everything going on.

Ben needs a break so he's in the back yard playing with Ashlyn and she's living it. She follows his every move. He gets a drink, she gets a drink. He runs left she runs left. He is in happy heaven. It's past bedtime but this needs to happen now. It is beautiful to hear so much giggling again in our house even if I know it will all come apart when I say it's time to brush teeth at least they have this happy memory and moment together.

Normal Kids

Brian was told today, May 14, they went to pick up his igama but something wasn't paid. They are making sure it is paid now and he should get it tomorrow. That means he can leave the country and come home once it is in hand. All our fingers and toes are crossed at our house that it can really happen. We'd all love to see dad again.

May Begins

I turned the calendar over from April to May this morning. Pack out day is literally in sight. That churns lots of stress emotions inside.

Dad's Gone

Jacob said he wishes dad could make us sleep, eat breakfast, eat lunch, eat dinner and sleep again really quick so we could just be ready to go together again.

When I returned from a parenting fireside tonight by the Eyres I got Ashlyn from the babysitter and she said "Daddy home?"
"No."
"Daddy home SOON?"
"No. Daddy home JUNE."
Poor girl didn't get my rhyming game. I don't have a good answer for her and it makes me so sad. For all she knows her daddy just disappeared forever.