Not sure if you read my thoughts on security here in Singapore, but it’s safe to say I was less than intimidated by the guards. My thoughts really formed last Saturday while we were at the Singapore Zoo. We watched a lion dancer show at the main entrance and I watched the guard keep people out of the area the dancers would soon be occupying. Today we went back to the zoo.
Dear Mr. Zoo Security Guard,
I am writing to apologize about my comments this week. I am a naive and stupid woman. I am so sorry. I guess last week I didn’t notice the machete you were carrying around with you. Don’t worry. I saw it this afternoon. I wasn’t sure my eyes were seeing things clearly (You should know that my eyesight is compromised and I am quite far sighted.) I pointed you out to my husband. He snickered at me and said, “That’s an umbrella.” Of course I teased him back, but ultimately believed him. After all, it made a whole lot more sense to my American mind.
Brian watched the kids on the grass across the road while you walked around the parking lot and I gathered up the kid gear to brave the zoo. When everything was in order in the backpack, I headed over to procure my PB&J sandwich with the kids. Imagine my surprise when Brian confirmed my original thoughts. He even described the type and shape of the blade and the handle. Yep. You’ve got a machete. At the zoo. Walking around the parking lot.
Hopefully you recall that even in my first post I fessed up to the fact that you could totally take me down whether or not you actually look intimidating. I just wanted to let you know, however, that you have now achieved a new level of “looking intimidating” enough to be on security detail. I hereby swear that I will behave myself at the zoo and keep all my wild children in line too. We bought the annual pass, so we’ll be seeing a lot of each other. I promise to be nice to you, because the last thing I want to do is get a close up of that thing.
With Respect,
A Well Behaved Zoo Patron
5 comments:
Wow! That would be far more intimidating that a gun!
Have fun with your zoo passes. That's one of the best things we have- of course, just the FW zoo. :)
It was more like a samurai sword than a machete. It had a long, slender body and a black oval handle long enough for two hands to hold together.
I don't think I will try to take on one of those guards any time soon.
That is insane! (and cool, in a weird, Asian-security-guard kind of way!)
Yeah, but does his uniform fit just a little too snugly? Because that's how they roll around here, yo.
Ha!
Maybe he was anticipating a lion escaping or something.
Post a Comment