I am going up and down for sure being locked down for Covid! We find ourselves in a very similar situation as we were in when we lived in Saudi. Locked down and feeling very stuck. We are doing school at home again and church at home just as a family.
I had to search and shop in the times when I was allowed out of our Saudi compound for little cups we could use for the sacrament and a white table cloth. This week as we pulled the old familiar table cloth out and adjusted to the fact that this was not a short situation anymore my emotions were very near the surface. Last time did not go well at all. This time I am determined to do better for me, for my family and for God. Last time my friends could and did still come visit me because we were the only ones locked down by ExxonMobil. This time it's just us and God in our house.
Before church on Sunday I listened to a podcast by some friends that run Meridian Magazine. Their words really brought my spirit to a slow and thoughtful place of peace and I felt so humbled and loved by my Heavenly Father. When we had the sacrament shortly thereafter I was really able to connect to the Savior. I am in awe at his overwhelming love and concern for me. I know he loves each of us and watches out for individuals.
I saw a great video on youtube this week that helped put my thoughts a bit more concretely. It is portraying a dentist that doesn't believe in God because of all the war and pain in the world. His patient relates it to not believing in dentists. To be useful, both God and a dentist need to be utilized. It made perfect sense to me. God is always available when I am ready to let him in. https://youtu.be/kH_o5_
