Maddie On Preschool

Maddie obviously had a nice time at preschool today.  She was happy and excited when Mallory dropped her off.  She wanted me to see her cool painting.  After a few minutes home I asked if she likes preschool.  She stopped in her tracks, looked at me with hands on her hips and an annoyed voice and said, "I still don't like learning."  Then walked off.  I guess I'll never win that battle.  She's been saying it since the very day she started last year and never varies in her answer.

Bowling with jacob is fun!

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Sleep Timer

The tv in our room has a sleep timer. It's a magic little invention.  You push the button and in 30, 60, 90 or 120 minutes it turns itself off.  I've become accustomed to the dull noise and dim lights lulling me to sleep every night.  Even when I come in dead tired, I turn the tv on and put the volume so low no words could possibly be understood and roll over and go to sleep.

 

Sunday night I forgot to put the sleep timer on.  At 3am I woke to the dull noise of the tv and an infomercial.  The next morning I found a link open on my laptop on the side of the bed for this: http://www.thecontour.tv/index.php

 

Note to self.  Hide the credit cards during the night.  I remember thinking I could use those electrodes for my back pain like the chiropractor used to do.  But still, hide the credit cards, Brian.

Whine Whine Whine

Maddie uses a whine about 85% of the time.  It grates at everyones nerves.  We hate it.  We genuinely can't understand what she is saying because it's so high pitched and squeaky.  Yesterday we went bowling and on the drive home we got a dose of it.

 

Ben: "Mom, last time we went bowling with Dad and Grandma we stopped at Wendy's and got ice cream.  I wish we could do that today."

Mom: "We can't today.  Sorry."

Maddie: "Ben, we did NOT stop at Wendy's last time."

Ben: "Yes we did."

Maddie: "NO!  WE DID NOT! That's not the truth!!"

Mom: "Maddie, Dad told me that he did go to Wendy's last time.  Maybe you don't remember or maybe you didn't go with them." (they were all in the same car)

Maddie: "No!  Ben did not go to Wendy's."

Mom: "That's what Ben remembers and it's okay if you remember a different story.  Let's not talk about it anymore." 

I commence silence and Maddie begins to whine.  And whine.  And whine.

I ignore her.  Not one word out of me.

After about a minute she stops whining.  In a totally calm and normal voice she says, "Mom, I was whining and whining and you never told me to stop so I just kept whining more.  Why didn't you tell me to stop whining?"

 

She said it so matter of factly.  As if when I tell her to stop it makes any difference at all.  Like I was solely responsible for her inability to stop whining.  Had I just made a simple request, it would have terminated immediately.  That is not my standard experience with this child. I dare say that my requests, which admitidly aren't gentle, just send her into a more intense tyraid of frantic screaming, typically accompanied with throwing herself on the ground and moving her body such that she looks like she is plagued with intense and unrelenting pain.

 

What is my take away lesson?  This girl knows what she's doing.  She's playing her cards at just the right moment to manipulate me and play on my weaknesses.  Yesterday I threw a wrench into the equation and she didn't know how to play me anymore.  How do I use this to my advantage?  The jury is still out but I know there is a gem of parenting knowledge hidden in that car ride.

Uneventful Dentist Visit

I almost forgot to post the latest from the dentist visit the kids had.  Mainly because it was more or less uneventful.  That is a miracle in and of itself.  No one kicked or hit the staff.  No one screamed at the top of their lungs.  No one spit on the staff.  No one hyperventilated.  That is not to say it went well.  Just that we had a lack of all those things mentioned above and let me tell you people, that's some MAJOR progress!!

 

We had Jakey nap at Lucinda's place while we went to our appointment.  Brian met me at the office as is our custom since we have to hog tie each of the two kids to make the visit happen.  Unfortunately I'm not an octopus.  In the past that could have come in super handy at restraining those flailing limbs and protecting the staff at the office.

 

Ben started out.  We talked about what would happen before we went, again, and how crying was okay but hitting was not.  It is okay to be worried and scared.  He can ask us questions or take a break or whatever, but no spitting.  We are not to scream and shriek but we can tell the workers what we don't like and see if they can change things around.  Thank the Lord we got Miss Charlotte as our hygentist.  She was an angel.  It didn't take long after she came into the isolation room instead of the big open area where almost all patients are seen to ask, "Does he have trouble with his teeth?"  My immediate response was, "Not really blah, blah, blah" until I looked at her eyes and realized the real question.  "Does he freak out over this stuff?"  "Um YEAH!! He's not likely to see those other public chairs anytime soon."

 

Miss Charlotte was a miracle.  We even got Ben to use the electric brush thing.  Then she squirted water in his mouth to rinse the paste off his teeth without telling him what she was doing and he gagged and if you ask him he almost died.  It was tears from then on.  The flouride went off almost without a hitch until he tasted it and gagged.  He refused to shut his mouth after the 60 seconds were up to spit it out and he was pissed off about it too.  He just kept letting it drip out of his mouth in nasty saliva drool all over.  I just got him lots of tissues and let him wipe and wipe and wipe, but his refusal to shut and spit just put his saliva glands into overdrive. It was pitiful.  They got their xrays, though they tried twice for one shot and since the second was worse than the first and he at least got something, she decided not to traumatize him and let it be.  Again, bless Miss Charlotte.

 

The dentist noticed he has the beginnings of his first loose tooth on the bottom front so that will be a bit of an adventure.  What's the going rate for the tooth fairy these days anyway?  And why does she pay in the first place?  You know there is no root left on that thing right?  That blows the idea that she's recycling it to save the planet.

 

Maddie Mae did pretty good, though she didn't love it.  She mostly liked climbing up and down on the chair that moves and acting like a monkey in the room while we waited for Ben's turn.  She's a great kiddo.

 

There you have it.  A bit of an ordeal, but put in perspective with other dental visits?  Cake walk.

The Case of Maya and Miguel

This is a letter received from my brother and sister in law. Dear Brian and Angie,

Missy and I stumbled across a random photo in the glove box of our Explorer. After careful examination of the clues and facts we have concluded that you two are responsible for the practical joke. It all started about a few weeks after your last visit to Utah. Missy and I were at a drive-in movie theater when we needed to get a flashlight out of the glove box. As I was fiddling around in the glove box trying to find the flashlight I knocked the glove box loose spilling it's contents all over the floor. Without much light to see, I carefully tried to reassemble all of the items and place them back where they belong. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted what looked like a photograph. "That's strange" I thought to myself. I don't remember ever putting a photo in the glove box. "I wonder what it is a picture of?". As I pick up the photo I see that it is a woman lovingly embracing a dog. "Could this photograph belong to the previous owner of this vehicle and it has been stuck behind the glove box all these years?". Turning the picture over I see it has a message written on the back:

"Dear Brett and Missy,

It was great to run into you and catch up over dinner last weekend. I can't believe how long it has been since we saw you last. Thought you might want a picture of our daughter Maya and dog Miguel. Keep in Touch".

I must be losing my mind. I didn't know old age could catch up to some one so fast. I couldn't for the life of me think who would have given us this photograph. I definitely don't remember going out to eat with anyone recently. Maybe this picture has been in here for a long time. Wait a second there is a date stamped on the back of the photo from when the picture was printed. Lets have a look. May 25, 2010. Whoa this keeps getting weirder. That means we would have had to had dinner with them within the last month or so. My mind wouldn't completely forget about it so fast would it, and why would it be in the glove box of our Explorer, we hardly ever drive it anymore. Wait a second. Brian and Angie had borrowed our car recently to travel down to my parent's house during their visit to Utah. Is this their mischievous and cunning side coming out? It has to be. I can't think of anyone else who has had access to our car recently. Lets take another look at the written message. The handwriting looks familiar. It almost looks like mine, but a lot nicer and more readable. Is handwriting a hereditary trait? Who knows, lets go with that. That gives us two clues - we found the photo shortly after you had borrowed our vehicle and the handwriting looked familiar. Might not hold up in a court of law but I'm going to go ahead and call this case closed.

You really had us going for a little while that night. Missy and I were scratching our heads desperately trying to figure out who the photo could have possibly come from. Well done. Oh and if you didn't leave the photo then Missy and I will really be confused.

-Brett and Missy

Okay. So maybe I did find a random photograph in the parking lot of a Safeway grocery store in Cedar City. I looked around for the owner and when the owner wasn't anywhere to be found I ask myself, "Self, who could benefit from this photograph?" The answer was clear as day. Me. I could benefit from this handy photograph.

Oh boy that was fun. I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks as I wrote the note (yes, my handwriting is bad, like a boy and apparently like Brett's). The worst part was that we could never tell him or probe to ask if they found it or they'd know it was us. I was brought to tears again reading Brett's email tonight. As I read, I thought the fact that the glove box fell apart was fantastic! If I had known the glove box was going to fall off, I could have played it differently. Anyway, they are two dang good detectives! The date stamp on picture!! Brilliant!!

Now the thing that is still killing me? We've done something like this before. But for the life of me, I can't remember who we scammed. I think it was to my brother Jason and something to do with an old girlfriend but I can't quite put my finger on what it was. He's always a fun guy to mess with. (J - do you remember what we did to you? I need another good laugh tonight.)

Sincerely,

Friend or Foe

(you decide)

Popsicle Trouble

So Jakey brought me a popsicle today so I could open it for him.  Not good news.  Little man is tall enough, strong enough and smart enough to open the freezer door all by himself and get whatever he wants from the fridge and freezer - and leave them both open.  Lucky, lucky me.