Jacobisms

"Mom, it's not fair. The reeves have like a quarter mile long house and we have one that is like four rooms wide."

Explaining "retirement" to Ashlyn:
"It's like when you save up a lot of money, like, like a lot, like a thousand dollars. Then you don't have to work."
She asked a few questions and he got instantly frustrated she didn't get it.
"NO! It's like when you save a lot like a thousand, no a million, no, actually you had to save a thousand dollars to retire." And he was fully confident in his answer. How do I tell him a thousand dollars is a normal monthly mortgage payment???