Zufelt Family Feb 2015

Zufelt Family Feb 2015

Monday, July 29, 2013

Word Stones - The FHE Lesson that Keeps on Giving

So the point of that FHE lesson the other day (the Jedi Jesus one) was to talk about judging each other. It was my feeble attempt to address the rudeness, blaming and tattle telling in the house. We talked about stoning the woman taken in adultery and our unkind words are also judging. I related those mean words we are hearing all day long at our house to "word stones" and we need to stop throwing word stones at each other.

This morning I showered and came out of my room to screaming downstairs. Unfortunately this is the status quo when the Zufelts have a four year old in the house. This is our round three and I'm thinking it's probably realistic to see one last round in the upcoming future with Ashlyn.

I called Jacob away from the fight and all the way up to the third floor to give him time to cool off by the time he arrived to discuss with me. He began to unleash the injustices done to him as he rounded the last corner. I put my hand up and said "Shhhh." Again the protests. Again a hand and "Shhhh." "BUT!!" "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." And he was quiet.

"What happened?"
"Ashlyn almost knocked a chair over so I RAN TO STOP"
"I ran to stop it and Maddie said I almost knocked it over but I DIDN'T!!"
"That's what this is over? There is no pushing or shoving? Just what she thinks and what you think?"
"So if she thinks something different than you think it's ok. She can say her thing and you can say your thing and if you think she is wrong then you can ignore her and she will be quiet."
"SHHHHHHH. Does it hurt you if she says something you don't think is right?"
"I mean does it hurt your body?"
"Yes. I don't want to get hit by a word stone."
I grabbed him and hugged him to my chest quickly to hide my smile and little giggles. He's right. Word stones hurt too.

Where to do we go from here? He "got it" but it hasn't changed behavior yet. We'll just keep plugging along. So far the other two kids have outgrown being four years old. I know he will too. In fact, Ben is turning out to be a rather stellar kid and Maddie, who I wasn't even sure I liked for a few years (she was a real struggle for me), is often really sweet and kind now. Jacob will be the same in time and stop instigating fights, looking around to make sure no one is watching and then punching people in the head and over reacting to every tiny thing by throwing his body on the ground. Just hoping it's sooner than later.

Yesterday he spent a LOT of time in time out for lying about the stupidest thing. The story got more and more elaborate and impossible. No matter how we proved said things couldn't have happened, he embellished and made up more to the story. So frustrating. It would have been such a simple thing to end it in two seconds but it took 30 minutes of him screaming.

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