Classic Toilet Story in Singapore

I thought I’d write this down to give my friends and family a quick glimpse into our everyday life in Singapore. It was such a classic Singapore experience we had in May.

I was mostly recovered from having Ashlyn and Brian was taking our car more because I was now able to do a little more walking around town. This particular day we need to run to the market and get Jacob’s glasses fixed. Let me clarify that by ‘run’ I mean walk ourselves to the market quickly, not jump into the car as it would mean in the US.

I ask each kid to go to the toilet before we go. Jacob says he already just did and can’t be persuaded. I’m pretty sure he really did just pee so I relent and we walk to market with Ashlyn in the front carrier. We drop off the glasses to be adjusted and only need about five grocery items so it should be really quick. We grab slurpees at 7-11 and head to the grocery store. I get four things and we’re searching for the other but can’t find it. It’s at this time Jacob announces he needs to go to the toilet. Right NOW. Great.

We abandon the last item and say a grateful prayer that the lines are short. I pay and we rush out of the grocery store. We run past the store front and through the hawker center (open air food stalls), around past the car park and into the back by the loading dock. Here’s where the fun begins.

First find a clean stall. He says he needs to sit down potty instead of stand up. Dang. Avoid the one with foot prints on the toilet seat from the people that think they MUST squat even if there is a seat. Why they can’t lift the seat and squat on the ceramic bowl I cannot explain.

Get your three year old onto a clean (relative terms – see below) toilet seat.  Where can I put all the slurpees? I guess on the filthy countertop while I bounce around with Ashlyn to keep her calm. Gross. It’s covered in water and wet toilet paper.

Now we wait. That’s right. He peed right before we left. We’re going to need toilet paper. I didn’t bring the diaper bag for this quick trip so I don’t have my own toilet paper, just cash for the groceries.

First I look for a toilet paper dispenser near the outside door. Score! They have one, that’s a bonus for the day to make us happy.

Cost is ten cents. Okay. Lets find the right coin in my coin purse.

Nope. No ten cent coin in the coin purse. Now what am I supposed to do? I can’t very well leave a three year old at the back loading dock bathroom and go ask for change at the hawker stalls. I did that once with seven year old Ben and had three grumpy adults waiting for me when I returned to get him. Wait maybe…yes…I found one in the bottom of my wallet under the paper bills!!  Yes! We have toilet paper to wipe.

Still waiting. Here’s some interesting reading material on the wall.

Finally he’s done. We wipe. Wash and go pick up Jake’s adjusted glasses from the shops and walk home.

About that "relatively" clean toilet seat. One day I was at the zoo at closing. The lady was in the bathroom cleaning. She literally took a garden hose, sprayed into each stall getting the toilet, walls and floor wet. She sprayed the floor in the entire bathroom and the sinks. Then she left. That was "cleaning" a bathroom. No soap, no cleanser, no scrubbing. Yuck.