Still the Same After All These Years

Are you one of those people that is constantly changing or do you stay the same forever? Some people have tried every fashionable haircut, with highlights and full dye jobs. They update their wardrobe with current trends and always look fabulous. Then there is me. I tend toward classic styles (at least that is what I tell myself). I don't see the need for more than one pair of black shoes.My current pair is over ten years old and was purchased at a thrift store. Why waste money on clothes that will be out of style and I'll just have to replace them? Seems silly to me. So, I stick to collared polo plain colored shirts, classic t-shirts, simple button up shirts, all in calm colors like navy that will never be "out". The problem with that, is I may never be "out" but I'm also never "in". I haven't ever dyed my hair because I think I wouldn't be me if I wasn't brunette. Really, I think I'd freak out looking out my eyes into another woman's face in the mirror. I have had two hair styles in my life. The ponytail with occasional curl (and I mean very occasionally) and about three years ago I got my first cut that was above my shoulders since I was in third grade. Not much variety here. I don't give myself enough credit or value myself enough to allow me to do fun, cute and cool things like my friends do. I want to, but can't push myself into cuteness. Though, I did have my sister teach me how to put on makeup about a year ago. We went and bought all new stuff (because the one tube of lipstick I had, I kid you not, I bought in seventh grade and haven't used it up yet, that's 18 years ago...shameful). Bad news. I only stuck to it for about two weeks. Now all skill I may have gained is lost again. Sorry Kristie. And yet, I find myself incredibly happy this way. From time to time I feel ugly, fat and frumpy like every other person on the planet, but overall I'm happy. These random strange thoughts came to mind as I looked at our family pictures tonight. Seriously, I look the exact same as I did eons ago. Case and point: When I was 20 years old I got married. I sent out wedding invitations. One went to an old friend who I couldn't find, but his mom was my old seventh grade spanish teacher and was teaching my little brother at the time. I sent it via him to said friend. The response came back from my spanish teacher that I looked EXACTLY the same as I had in seventh grade. Yuck. When I was getting married at 20, I looked like a 12 year old. Well, yes. I basically look the same. When I looked at my picture tonight, I realize, I look like me. Same old me I have always been. Just a few extra pounds around the waist and on the back side now. Still the same after all these years. Both good and bad. Steady. Boring. Safe. Predictable. Constant. Habitual. Solid. Regular. Reliable. I guess you'll recognize me if you see me on the street someday, so don't forget to smile and say hello. Of course, I may not recognize you. Most people are more exciting and change from time to time. And I think that's healthy. I find it interesting that Brian has the same haircut he has had since birth too, except for a 12 month stint when I met him. He grew it back out to the current style for our wedding pictures and there it remains. We are a match made in heaven. Two peas in a pod. As we would say "we're 'posed to be together." Someday we'll be old and decrepid wearing clothes from the seventh grade, happily oblivious to our plight in life knowing we're still "'posed to be together" and forever in love. It's good to be loved for who you are. He's a good man.