Totally Missed 2 am

Last night Jacob saw fit to awake and demand feeding every single hour except 2 am. I was asleep around 11pm, but woke in the 12, 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6 o'clock hours. I am so totally exhausted. After I had him fed and snuggled back in his bed following the 5 am feeding, I flopped my tired body down again in my cold bed. Before I had even dozed off, I heard Maddie Mae arrise and come to our door. She must have thought it was still near bedtime rather than 5 am, because she didn't come in. Instead she flopped her body down just at the edge of the doorframe and began to wail. I poked Brian to offer him a turn so I could sleep. He tried. He really did. But at 5 am when an irrational two year old is yelling, "I want Mama!" you just cave because all you really care about is getting them to shut up so you can get two minutes of much needed sleep. He let her down and I hauled her up from the floor, over my body and put her between us. She made me cuddle her so she could relax and sleep. That meant I couldn't relax and sleep with her hair in my face so I can't breath. It makes me claustrophobic. Once Maddie was groggy enough, I gently removed my arm from underneath her and quickly flipped my body to face the other way and scooted my back to touch hers to fool her into thinking I was still right there. She startled and reached for me. When she felt me there, she dropped off again. Finally I could snooze. Less than an hour later, Brian had arisen and showered then went to calm a fussy Jacob. For twenty minutes he settled him only to have him cry again. I gave up. I could pretend to be sleeping as I wanted, but knew I would never sleep. I was on pins and needles wishing he would just go back to sleep. Better to cut my losses, go feed him and try to sleep after he was down again. As I stirred, Maddie asked to watch a movie. I told her to ask her Daddy because I had to help Jacob. We handed off Jacob and Brian sat on the couch to relax. Maddie came in and demanded a movie. We told her if she said "Please" she could have it. All we got was a tantrum. Instead of sleeping more I chose to shower. Something neglected for two days because Brian had been going to work earlier than I was getting up and I couldn't quite manage to do that and care for the kids with their high maintenance needs in the mornings. Then Ben was up and it was time for breakfast. After feeding Jacob so much I was famished. I made nine scrambled eggs. One and a half for each of the big kids and ate the other six myself and was still hungry. Both kids have tantrumed all morning. I was grateful to drop Ben at preschool. I know he'll have fun and I know he'll behave. At home we run a high risk that I'd just have to mediate fights all day. Maddie Mae finally agreed to eat her breakfast around 10:30. Hopefully that will help her mood. I had Brian help me dose her up with pain/fever reliever before he left for work. I figured it was my only chance at sanity today. She must not feel well if she's that rotten to be around. Before Brian left early for work today, I did just take a moment to confirm. It isn't a holiday and ExxonMobil is not closed so he can stay home and help manage the troops. No luck. I'm going to have to weather this storm alone in my weakened and sleep deprived state. Heaven help me. And it will.