I'm Taking Up Smoking

Ever notice how smokers are the only people in the entire world that get their full break time and never ever miss that sacred break time at the office? They have a physical need that basically requires them to leave work and have a smoke. The federal government has decreed that everyone gets breaks, but not everyone takes them. Being a stay at home mom, I am not afforded such luxuries as federal mandated breaktime. I was just hoping that if I took up smoking, I would be able to abandon my children to go sit on the front porch steps for fifteen minutes every four hours and have a little time to myself. Doesn't that sound relaxing? In a coughing, hacking, stinky, gagging kind of way, it does. Of course, cigarette smoke has always given me splitting headaches, so it may not work out in the end. Plus, Brian is pretty sure the kids would just follow me outside and continue to nag me while Jacob tried to steal the cigarette. Maybe this isn't the best idea after all. A girl can dream though, can't she?