Colors Matter

The dentist today was another harrowing experience. It took the dental hygienist, Brian and I to restrain Ben while he emitted blood curdling screams and gagged on his own saliva so that the poor woman could simply brush his teeth. Brian was able to manage Maddie on his own, but still, with plenty of tears. Jacob was well mannered enough through it all, but I didn't have time to change his stinky diaper he lovingly created on the drive to the dentist so he was odoriferous. He also bit me three times while I nursed him during the lull between the hygienist and the dentist and threw up on me. I was pretty ticked and didn't want to give anyone a reward for anything after the hygienist disaster, but Brian offered the standard Burger King play land bribe to them if they could pull it together for the dentist portion of the visit. They did a fair job, nothing approaching good, but fair. In any case, we were finally able to leave and relieve everyone ears of the piercing screams to go find a prize in the prize box. While they shopped someone filled up helium balloons and brought them out for the kids. May I remind you: one girl, one boy. I realize that they can't always give out pink to every girl and blue to every boy. Guess what they brought out? One green balloon with a blue string. One PINK balloon with a BLUE string. UUUUGGGHHH!! I think she was subconsciously trying to get back at us for my rotten kids. Fights all around our house this afternoon about who gets which balloon and which string. NOTICE TO ALL DENTAL OFFICE EMPLOYEES: Colors Matter. Either go all generic or all girl/boy. The upside? No cavities. Just a warning that we need to floss. Yeah. You saw how great we do with teeth stuff. You come floss for me every night.