Zufelt Family Feb 2015

Zufelt Family Feb 2015

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Abandonment

It's been about three years since the last time I ran through emotions like this of loosing very close, dear friends. Last time it was Gretel Patch. I swear when she moved to Djibouti, Africa I didn't have a single friend left in the entire world I could call for support, babysitting or friendship. It wasn't really true. It isn't true this time either, but what a heart ache I have today. Catherine left for the airport a few hours ago. We went to say goodbye after preschool. Ben is old enough to understand what was happening this time. He was excited to go say goodbye, but once we got to their home he was sad and subdued. He wanted to lay his head on my lap while I sat on the stairs. He looked like he wanteed to cry and told me how sad he was inside. My heart broke for him knowing he was loosing Eliza this week and Glori next week. Finally it was time to leave for the airport, they loaded their van and drove away. I cried all the way home from Cath's house. I have had an emotional wall of denial up for months. I've always known it would be okay since Cath first mentioned the tug they were beginning to feel in the spring. We first met the Arveseths in our married ward in 1999. We were both newlywed couples in college. Brian and I were transient to say the least, we moved from the University ward to Texas, Michigan and Kentucky. Back and forth, coming and going, but the Arveseths were always there and friendly. They were loved by everyone. Finally they graduated and moved to Virginia. Then we went to Houston and kept in touch with Cath's brother Dave in New Orleans and Brian would travel annually to Fairfax on business and have dinner with the Arveseths and bring home a report each trip. Then we got the chance to move to the Fairfax office of ExxonMobil and jumped on the chance. The Arveseths recruited us to the Fairfax Ward. I remember spending all day with an apartment hunter lady and being devestated by the pricetag of living here. We finally chose a place and traffic kept us from making it to the office in time to sign the paperwork. We ended up calling the Arveseths and visited them than night. Catherine was on bedrest with Eliza. They gave us a new list of cheaper apartments to check out, all in the ward boundaries. We saved a bundle thanks to them. Eliza was born about two weeks after we moved here. We talked one time after Eliza was born about what things might prompt us to move home to Utah and closer to family and forfeit the amazing experience that is living in the Nations Capitol. We cracked up as we decided the only thing at that point that would make us move home was having twins. No less than six months after that conversation, Catherine found out she was having twins. I may have never laughed so hard in my life and called to make sure she was staying anyway. Now the twins will turn two in February and she made it through on her own. Or with the help of her Fairfax Ward family and friends. We swapped childcare, frusteration and tears. Ben asks for Eliza play dates, anytime I teach preschool Maddie asks if she can go in Catherine's car with Sami and Ali to the park. Catherine and I have become great friends as we grew together as new, young mothers. It didn't seem real for months that they would ever leave Virginia. Then it became very real, very quickly. Brian started helping them rent their home out or do small fix up jobs so it was ready to rent. I would feel secretly mad at him for helping take my best friends away. As if it really made a difference. Maybe, if they couldn't rent their beautiful home to a nice family, they would abandon their promise to take the job transfer. No such luck. Everything has worked out in their preparations, as if the Lord had a hand in moving them where they need to be for this stage of their life. I know He will provide for me too. In time, the fresh wounds will heal and I will find new things and people to fill the holes left by our missing of the Arveseth family. It will just take time. The time we spent together and the memories we made cannot be replaced. They will remain treasured memories for me and my children. It's hard to replace a friend you've had for almost ten years. Catherine's undeniable faith in Christ has been such a beautiful testimony to me in my times of need. She never doubts he died for her, it is an integral part of her being and her relationship with her Savior is beautifully displayed in the person she has become. What an example to me. Next week my other dear friend moves to Ethiopia, Africa. When Marti left in June for Ethiopia it was easier because we knew she would return in September for three months to have baby Sophi. We also knew from the day she moved to Virginia that she was leaving, so it wasn't such a shocker. This time when she goes, it's for good though. It will be hard to say goodbye for real this time. The best news of the day? Ben is playing airport today. He had me check my luggage onto the dining room chairs arranged to look like a conveyor belt. It was originally rejected because I forgot to put my suitcase in an imaginary plastic bin like they do at the security check at the real airport for your carryon items. Once we worked that out, it was scanned for bad stuff and I was able to board the plane. The best part is that he told me the airplane was going to Salt Lake City and we could go see Eliza for three days. Then the airplane will come back to Virginia because the pilot had to come back.

No comments: