Unexpected Moment of Sadness

I was looking through our old digital photos from the days when we were a family of three. I was struck with an odd sort of sadness. It started to eat at me that Maddie Mae was missing. I wanted to "fix" the pictures for lack of a better way to explain my emotions at the time. How odd I have been thinking in the week since that happened. As I examine my emotions of the new baby's arrival, how do I reconcile that with these feelings? Before Benjamin, it was relatively easy to understand loving a new baby. How could you not anticipate loving such a new and pure little person. Ben would "complete" the family structure and it made perfect sense. While waiting for Maddie's arrival, it didn't come quite so easily. We already loved Ben. How could you divide that love. How could you multiply that love. Could you ever really love another child like the first. Of course, the answer is yes. But it was hard to wrap my brain around. I wondered how will she fit in our family dynamic? How will the new baby work with the way things are? Life is already good, how will it change? Will I like it? Now I find myself feeling all the same familiar emotions. How will this new baby change our lives? When I look through pictures of our family in the months before the birth, will I feel the same sadness I feel now looking at pictures without Maddie? Will I feel a sad sense of incompleteness where I now feel our family is so whole? I wonder...