Mommy Time Out

I am loosing any ability to be patient right now and Maddie has decided that now is just the prefect time to test my every limit. Ugh. I was asked to make the baby shower cake for a friend. The cake was made and ready to move to the cake board. I trimmed the board to the perfect size and taped the tin foil on top when Brian called. Maddie had been given instruction to not touch anything because Brian needed an account number right then. Maddie was distracted when I ran upstairs. I had no sooner got the folder open when I heard Ben yelling, "Mom! Maddie is ruining the cake!" I ran back down the stairs yelling to stop touching it. When I rounded the corner and saw her fingers shoved into the cake, I lost it and screamed something like, "How can you be so stupid! I hate you when you do this crap! Why can't you just listen to me and leave my stuff alone?" I was so mad! Maddie got put in time out, screaming and crying. A two year old gets two minutes of time out, right? I removed myself from the situation, stood against the wall in the other room breathing deeply. Lets just say it took all the self control and good fibers of my character to go finish the time out, tell her I loved her and give a hug. Two minutes was NOT long enough to cool off for me. It was so hard to not just throw her in her room for an hour. Maddie's time out ended, she apologized to me, then I gritted my teeth and apologized to her for saying mean words and told her I loved her. Then I stayed in the time out spot after she was done. Let's face it I earned it. After a minute she actually noticed I was in time out and thought it was funny. Her smile was from ear to ear. She kept asking me, "Mommy go to time out today?" "Yes," was all I could say. Ben thought is was cool too. I couldn't help wishing that if a 2 yr old gets 2 minutes, why couldn't I have 30 minutes? I'd love 30 minutes alone...I'd be bad more often if I could guarantee some alone time. On to a new, fresh, clean slate on a different day. I will do better. I will maintain my composure. I will be stronger than my impulsive, exhausted emotions. The cake board was repaired, the cake was fixed with frosting and no one ever knew the difference. Sorry if you were at the shower and now know where your cake has been. It did turn out pretty cute though.

UPDATE: I know Maddie wouldn't remember me freaking out that day when she is an adult. She's young. The memory will fade eventually. Three days later though, we were snuggling on the couch and she said, with a smile, "I always mess up your stuff." Cute little grin and a snuggle. Oh well. She'll forget over time...right?? I've done better the last few days.