Birth of Jacob

I suppose it is to be expected that by the third baby some things begin to become routine. I basically knew what to expect for this delivery. I knew where to park at the hospital, where to check in, which hall they would take me down to get hooked up for the surgery, when they would bring Brian in to watch and when he would leave with the baby while I was sewn up. There was a point I got totally clinical about everything. I couldn't remember a lot of nitty gritty details from the last surgery so I was taking great mental notes of what was going on around me. When we delivered Madison Mae, we waited in the downstairs lobby for two hours before they brought us upstairs to get started because they had too many other women in labor and didn't have room for me yet. When the hospital called the day before the delivery to go over all the procedures they said the schedule was totally full, so it was unlikely they could move the surgery time up. I mentally told myself that meant another long wait in the main lobby waiting area. When they sent us directly upstairs, I had a mild moment of panic. I wasn't ready yet. I needed more time. I'm not sure what the extra hour or two would have really bought me, but it was stressful knowing we were going to do this right now. Luckily we got to sit upstairs for 30 minutes or so before they actually got my paperwork processed for me to start. Once I was taken back into the area to get set-up for the c-section, I used the bathroom for the last time for a few days, I changed into a hospital gown and climbed up on the bed to get hooked up to the monitors. They tried an IV in my hand and missed, causing a big egg shaped blood pool under my skin. It didn't hurt at all for six or seven days but then it finally got pretty tender for a week or more. We had to have one full bag of IV fluids before they could take me to surgery so we sat and waited for a long time. Finally they let me walk back to surgery. Brian waited outside the door while I got hooked up. They had me sit up on the table and hunch over while a huge man stood in front of me holding my shoulders still. The anesthesiologist cleaned my back a million times and then started poking and doing the spinal block for the surgery. The big guy holding my shoulders kept me steady and I just remember how warm his arms and body were. I had to push my head into his chest and he wrapped his arms around my head and shoulders to keep me absolutely still. I must have been freezing because I remember how desperately I didn't want him to let go for fear of being cold. After a few mild pricks, I could feel parts of my back with warm sensations, indicating the anesthetic was kicking in. Pretty soon they laid me down on the table and put up the big blue sheet. They put the sheet up right under my chin so I can't see anything at all. Dr. Knudson came in and I was almost completely numb. I could feel the pressure as they cleaned my abdomen and stuck the sticky paper on my stomach to catch all the blood and gunk. Then Brian was at my side and I checked the clock. It was two minutes to three o'clock when they started cutting. I could feel lots of tugging and pulling, more than the last two times. My body was really pushed around. It felt like they were lifting me up by my ribcage on the right side. The next day I found it was painful to breath on my right side, so they must have roughed me up a little bit. This time they had randomly slung a tube over the top of the sheet. I didn't notice it until it started to fill with blood draining out of the operating table. That made me feel a bit queasy. I think Brian mentioned it to someone because someone said, "Oh!" and it was quickly removed. Seven minutes after they began cutting, I felt a big jerking motion as the baby came out and they were no longer pulling on me because he was above me now. As he came out, I heard Dr. Knudson say, "He's out" followed by a little cry. They announced it was a boy and held him up for me to see. Dr. Knudson handed him to a nurse who walked about ten steps over to the baby clean-up station. It was in those few seconds that the Lord spoke directly to my heart and mind. I knew then that this would not be our last baby. There was someone else missing in our family. The spiritual impression I received that moment was absolutely undeniable. I could feel tears coming down my face. Brian held my hand so tight and looked so proud and happy. Then he got the camera and camcorder working to capture the first few minutes of our new little baby boy's life. I was so calm and happy. So excited that we had a new spirit in our lives. Brian went with the baby and I stayed on the table to get sewn back together. At this point, I felt like I was having two different unrelated experiences or conversations in my head. One conversation was all about the clinical stuff, paying attention to how they were doing the surgery and how long it took. The total surgery took 35 minutes from start to finish. I did talk a bit to the surgery staff but mostly listened to their random chatter about inconsequential things. They kept saying it was a good thing they were chatting and laughing. That meant nothing was going wrong. One of the surgery assistants at one point gave me a very nice compliment, though it is one I never expected and likely won't get again. He said, "You are really healthy inside. You don't have any extra fat anywhere inside here. Do you exercise a lot?" That made me chuckle. If only he could cut open and see my backside he would have a different idea. One other funny thing was that Dr. Knudson did my last c-section, but the staff didn't know that. When they cut open my skin to expose the uterus, one of the surgery staff commented how beautiful the last surgeon had closed me up. Dr. Knudson just looked up at me with a twinkle in his eye and didn't say a word. Near the end of the surgery, Dr. Knudson told me my uterus was in fantastic shape, not thinned or damaged at all (other than the three scars from three surgeries of course). The other conversation going on in my head was being totally overwhelmed with the amazingness that is the birth of a new baby. I couldn't believe how sweet the experience of the birth was this time. It was so wonderful to witness a new life entering the world and to know how much love I have in my heart for him and knowing that Brian feels exactly the same. The most spiritual times in my life have been the births of my three children. I feel so close to heaven when we welcome a new, perfect child into our hearts and home. We are so excited to have a new baby boy in our family. He is a precious gift from God. Eventually, the finished the surgery and wheeled me to the recovery area. Brian was there waiting with the baby. He was talking to someone on his cell phone, I think his parents, telling them how the surgery went. He quickly got off the phone and greeted me. The nurse got me settled and arranged on the monitors then left us for a bit to talk. I felt weird, but good. Brian offered to let me hold the baby, but my body just couldn't yet. I couldn't move much and didn't have the strength to hold him yet so Brian held him so I could look at him. I remember the video we have of me holding Ben for the first time and I was so drugged and whacked out from the surgery that I wasn't really there and wasn't really holding him. He was more just laid on my arms. I didn't want my first connection with this child to be that way. I wanted to be there when I first held him, not mentally partially gone. My job in the recovery room was to try to move my legs. That was my ticket out of there and into my own room. I tried and tried for what seemed like hours. It is pretty unnerving to lift your leg up like you normally would and have NO response from your body, not even a little twitch or your toe. Eventually, I could sort of rock my leg back and forth a bit and my strength was returning so I asked to hold the baby. Brian got him for me and I cried again the first time I held him in my arms. I still couldn't really move much or adjust my position so it was awkward but sweet and special to hold him, to feel his warmth and put his face up to my cheek. It was wonderful. Finally we got to go to my room. I got settled, Brian stayed a while, then went home to tell the kids and Grandma Debbie, show them pictures, make a few important calls to people who were waiting to hear our news and post the big announcement on the blog. I was exhausted and ready to rest by the time he left. I don't remember much more about that day, but I know it was a great one. I thank God for the gift of sweet and precious babies. Days like this bring peace into my soul. I love being a mother.